I wish I could say that this journey is an easy one- but its not.
I wish I could say that the answers to the questions are black and white, but they aren't. There is a lot of grey.
But why be so wrapped up in searching for certainty. Sometimes, the most certainty is in the fact that things are always uncertain.
You never really have things figured out. Things can always change. Because we have a God who has a plan, and who has a will for our lives. Each one of us was created with a mission and a purpose that only we can fulfill. Nobody else can meet the mission set for you besides..you!
I had a beautiful talk last night with one of my supervisors about the question of If God has a plan for me, how do I have free will? Because he knows what I am going to choose anyways. This was such an uplifting talk, and it was so inspiring to have it be with my supervisor, of all people.
God created us, and as we come to know him, he trusts us to make decisions. When we keep Christ in mind, he trusts us to make decisions that are not large moral decisions. Sometimes we are given options to choose and either way will lead to great things. When there are forks in the road, sometimes there isnt one particular direction we are supposed to go...when we keep Christ in mind, he trusts us to make the right decisions.
...That is why I have the freedom to choose. That is why you, don't write it all down for me. That is why you let me decide the choices to make through the course of my life. So if I hold the pen will you steady my hand, and together we can write my life story..... (New song lyrics, still in the process of being developed. Yahoo!)
Wednesday, March 30, 2011
Tuesday, March 22, 2011
Monday, March 14, 2011
Mother Nature sometimes has this crazy way of ruining our plans.
Sometimes I forget that Jesus takes good care of me.
This has been a crazy few days, no doubts. Im going to blog about it!
All last week I was looking forward to traveling to South Dakota to Sioux Falls to see the lovely miss Leah Hansen. She is a beautiful woman, and her friendship is a priceless gift to me. We went to high school together, and knew each other since about 7th grade but for some reason we were never really close until shortly before our senior year. We had not spent much time together until we went off to college. Our friendship has grown deep through the Lord, and it is such a blessing to catch up with her. When she is home from college, we always make sure to catch up at our favorite place- Moxie Java. I have not spent a TON of time with Leah, so I was really looking forward to getting away from Moorhead and spending some quality time with her.
Friday afternoon finally came around, and my father sent me a text message. I called him, and he told me that there was a storm coming through and that I needed to be careful. So I said I would. He called me later the afternoon, and told me if I was going to leave, I needed to get out of town quickly. If I could make it to Watertown by 6, I should miss the bad part of the storm and drive right out of it. I hit the road around 3:30 with pure excitement for a great weekend! Everything was fine and dandy, the sun was even shining. I was a bit perplexed that there was supposedly a "storm" coming through. About 1 hour and 30 minutes in, I hit a slight sprinkle. I giggled and said something along the lines of, well this I can drive through. About 15 minutes later the temperature dropped dramatically, and my rain drop speckled car quickly became frozen over. My side windows for so frosted over I could not see out of them! It became dark, and the rain turned to snow. The wind picked up, and all of a sudden I was caught in an awful snow storm. My brakes were wet from the rain, and quickly froze up when the temperature dropped. I could hardly see 10 feet in front of my car, I could barely see the tail lights of the van in front of me. We were now driving 25 miles per hours on the interstate with our hazards on. A slight break in the wind came, and I was able to see a semi driving in front of the van I was following. A few moments later the semi signaled and moved off the road, the van in front of me followed, as did I. We got out of our vehicles, and the semi truck driver asked what we would like to do. He said he would continue to drive if we wanted to continue to follow. We all agreed that would be our best plan.
We continued on down the road, driving very slowly, and not able to see much. A large gust of wind, which I now know was about 55 miles per hour, blew at my car and caused a little bit of panic. My car started to fish tail on the icy road, and I swear my heart stopped for a moment. I regained control and continued to drive. Again a large gust of wind blew. This time, I saw the van in front of my press hard on their brakes, so I did too. Then I saw the semi begin to blow sideways across the interstate. As the back end hit the ditch, the semi truck began to lose control. Moments later, the semi truck began to tip over. The van in front of me pulled off the interstate into a gas station. I was glad to be following someone because I could not see that there was a station there, and had NO idea where I was. Just as I parked my car and walked into the gas station, they announced that interstate had been closed. The semi truck driver was fine, not even bruises.
I stood in front of the beef jerky in the gas station leaning against the shelf extremely confused and unsure of what was to come for the rest of the evening. All of a sudden, a girl who lived in my building walked through the doors. I was glad to see a familiar face. We chatted for a while, and I made some phone calls letting everyone know I was alright. It took a while for me to realize that I was going to be here for a while....
Two hours later, the store had completely filled up. The cashiers told us there were about 150 cars and semis parked in the gas station...I found out I was in a town called "Summit" at a store called "The Coffee Cup". I called my friend Beth Hill, who lives in a town called Sisseton, which I passed about 45 miles back. She said the area I was in was the bermuda triangle of south dakota. The weather is super sketchy and unpredictable with the hills around this area. I came to the realization that I was stuck, and stuck for the evening. Jen and I grabbed a spot in the corner of the store and sat down. I read, she listened to her ipod. A few hours later Craig,an RA from another complex at MSUM, walked in. Jen and I were both extremely pleased to see another friendly face!
He said he was parked outside with his girlfriend. They had their computers in the car, and seasons 4 through 6 of HOUSE. Craig bought a power strip converter to plug into his cigarette lighter. With a charged computer, we piled into his car to watch for the night. The walk from the door of the gas station to Craigs car was the worst walk I have ever taken. The wind blew at you so hard it caused you to lose your balance. The snow was flying around so much that from being outside for 6 seconds, I was drenched from head to toe. All of our clothes were white with snow as we opened the doors to the car. There was one point where the wind hit me so hard I could not breathe, I was literally panicking for air. We got into the car and everything was wet. The inside was wet just from opening the doors. Our clothes were soaked. We turned on the heat, and cuddled our blankets and watched House and How I Met Your Mother.
Craig went in to grab some munchies, and to use the restroom. He came back to the car, and said he saw Nick Mullin, who is another RA at MSUM! Nick and I are really good friends, and I could not believe that he was stuck at this same gas station too! I called him, and told him to come out to our car and watch movies with us. He ran out and told us his crazy story..
Nick was on his way from Moorhead to his home in Watertown. He was about 4 miles away from Summit when he pulled over because he could not see anything. There was a guy in front of him that was also driving a truck. They had pulled over a couple times to talk about what to do in this crazy storm, though they did not know each other. Nick sat on the side of the interstate in his pickup for about 4 hours before a squad car came to get him. The cops dropped him off at The Coffee Cup where he was to stay for the night. He was by himself, and Im sure was very grateful to know someone there!
There we sat, a big party of MSUM kids in a car, stranded in the middle of south dakota. We put smiles on and made the best of it...for a few hours. 1am rolled around, and we were all REALLY sick of sitting in a cramped car..sick of the weather..and just wanted to get where we were going. Nick and I went back into the store, thinking we would jut sit in there for a while to stretch out. When we walked in there were people EVERYWHERE. sitting on boxes, coolers, broken benches, shower stools...and many were laying on the floor. The whole place was littered with sleeping bodies! Nick and I grabbed a tiny spot on the floor and just chatted for a while. After about an hour, we decided to go to my car. We started it up, and hung out in there for the rest of the night. We would alternate turning the car on and off...listening to music and talking. We both wanted to sleep, but it was extremely difficult. At least we could kick back our seats and stretch out. I was so glad to be able to be with someone I knew, and someone I loved. Nick was truly a God send. It was no coincidence that we ended up there together. I loved being able to catch up and find out new things about him. When you are with someone in such a stressful situation, they really get to see your true colors, and it was fun to have those revealed.
As the night turned into morning, we kept our ears on the radio, hoping for some news about the roads opening up. First they thought 3am, then they thought 5 am. We then got news that the roads wouldnt be opened until the wind died down, which wouldnt be until around noon. Around 7am we started to get pretty restless. I would toss and turn. Cry...out of frustration and disappointment. After sitting in the car for that many hours, and hearing about the terrible road conditions...I realized that I was not about to make it Sioux Falls. After the stress of all this, I did not want to travel 2 more hours in poor weather and poor driving conditions. I made the disappointing phone call to Leah telling her I was calling off my road trip. I was in tears. Lack of sleep, and high emotions made for a very sad and tear filled Sara.
I had fallen asleep around 9:30 and Nick had snuck out around 10am to pick up his car from the side of the road. He got out there, and his truck wouldnt start, so he had it towed back to the store. The news came around 12:30 that the roads were open! The store emptied very quickly, and many vehicles were out of there as soon as they could. We tried to start Nicks car, but it would not go. Our other friends from MSUM got on the road, but I stayed behind to help nick figure out what was going on. We bought some Heet to pour into his gas tank to unthaw the gas line, but that didnt work either. We jumped it, but it just would not go. By this time I had a huge break down...I was so frustrated, and I was so disappointed that I would not be able to go to Sioux Falls.
Nick called his dad, who sent out a family friend to figure out the truck situation. He could not figure it out either. We came to an understanding that it was simply too frozen to start. They hooked Nicks truck up, and towed it back to Watertown. I called my friend Beth back, and asked if I could come stay with her. I had driven all this way, I did not want to turn around and drive back to Moorhead for the rest of the weekend. Her family was so welcoming and wonderful. They said yes!
I arrived to a huge hug from beth, and her mother. As I pulled into their driveway, I burst out in tears happy to be out of my car, and in a house! Warm food in my belly was greatly appreciated after having 4 meals at the gas station. A comfy couch, a big screen TV, movies, and a warm bed...this terribly, horrible stranded experience turned into a wonderful weekend at the Hill farm.
As much as I wish I could be with Leah in Sioux Falls, I have come to an understanding that things dont work out exactly how we want them too. You never know where life is going to take you, or where you could end up! This misadventure being stranded at a gas station turned into a blessed relaxed weekend at the farm.
I told Beth that I was so blessed to be warm, and not in a ditch. I proceeded to tell her "God's got my back" he replied, "he's got your back, and your front, and your sides." Thank you, Beth Hill, another comment for the Journal. (On this note, maybe I should start another blog, and fill it with all the funny comments from the mouth of Bill....keep your eye out for a possible new link!)
All in all, I have learned a lot in the last few days. And have grown in deep appreciation for the wonderful people I have in my life. It is amazing how much people surprise you. Being stranded in that gas station, everyone there became a family. We shared our cell phones, our blankets..people paid for other people's food so they could eat. The tow trucks gave free tows to everyone on the interstate. People shared their jumper cables and their plug ins. It was wonderful to see the giving of people. Its interesting..but sometimes tragedy brings out the best in people.
I said earlier that being with someone that long brings out their true colors. I just said that tragedy brings out the best in people. Over the last couple days, I have truly seen the beauty of peoples hearts. Full of community, hospitality, giving, and gratitude.
I appreciate you all so much, and hope your spring break is off to a wonderful start. If its not, please remember that its all about how you choose to make it.
I choose to have an adventure filled spring break, and no doubts, it is off to a good start.
Sometimes I forget that Jesus takes good care of me.
This has been a crazy few days, no doubts. Im going to blog about it!
All last week I was looking forward to traveling to South Dakota to Sioux Falls to see the lovely miss Leah Hansen. She is a beautiful woman, and her friendship is a priceless gift to me. We went to high school together, and knew each other since about 7th grade but for some reason we were never really close until shortly before our senior year. We had not spent much time together until we went off to college. Our friendship has grown deep through the Lord, and it is such a blessing to catch up with her. When she is home from college, we always make sure to catch up at our favorite place- Moxie Java. I have not spent a TON of time with Leah, so I was really looking forward to getting away from Moorhead and spending some quality time with her.
Friday afternoon finally came around, and my father sent me a text message. I called him, and he told me that there was a storm coming through and that I needed to be careful. So I said I would. He called me later the afternoon, and told me if I was going to leave, I needed to get out of town quickly. If I could make it to Watertown by 6, I should miss the bad part of the storm and drive right out of it. I hit the road around 3:30 with pure excitement for a great weekend! Everything was fine and dandy, the sun was even shining. I was a bit perplexed that there was supposedly a "storm" coming through. About 1 hour and 30 minutes in, I hit a slight sprinkle. I giggled and said something along the lines of, well this I can drive through. About 15 minutes later the temperature dropped dramatically, and my rain drop speckled car quickly became frozen over. My side windows for so frosted over I could not see out of them! It became dark, and the rain turned to snow. The wind picked up, and all of a sudden I was caught in an awful snow storm. My brakes were wet from the rain, and quickly froze up when the temperature dropped. I could hardly see 10 feet in front of my car, I could barely see the tail lights of the van in front of me. We were now driving 25 miles per hours on the interstate with our hazards on. A slight break in the wind came, and I was able to see a semi driving in front of the van I was following. A few moments later the semi signaled and moved off the road, the van in front of me followed, as did I. We got out of our vehicles, and the semi truck driver asked what we would like to do. He said he would continue to drive if we wanted to continue to follow. We all agreed that would be our best plan.
We continued on down the road, driving very slowly, and not able to see much. A large gust of wind, which I now know was about 55 miles per hour, blew at my car and caused a little bit of panic. My car started to fish tail on the icy road, and I swear my heart stopped for a moment. I regained control and continued to drive. Again a large gust of wind blew. This time, I saw the van in front of my press hard on their brakes, so I did too. Then I saw the semi begin to blow sideways across the interstate. As the back end hit the ditch, the semi truck began to lose control. Moments later, the semi truck began to tip over. The van in front of me pulled off the interstate into a gas station. I was glad to be following someone because I could not see that there was a station there, and had NO idea where I was. Just as I parked my car and walked into the gas station, they announced that interstate had been closed. The semi truck driver was fine, not even bruises.
I stood in front of the beef jerky in the gas station leaning against the shelf extremely confused and unsure of what was to come for the rest of the evening. All of a sudden, a girl who lived in my building walked through the doors. I was glad to see a familiar face. We chatted for a while, and I made some phone calls letting everyone know I was alright. It took a while for me to realize that I was going to be here for a while....
Two hours later, the store had completely filled up. The cashiers told us there were about 150 cars and semis parked in the gas station...I found out I was in a town called "Summit" at a store called "The Coffee Cup". I called my friend Beth Hill, who lives in a town called Sisseton, which I passed about 45 miles back. She said the area I was in was the bermuda triangle of south dakota. The weather is super sketchy and unpredictable with the hills around this area. I came to the realization that I was stuck, and stuck for the evening. Jen and I grabbed a spot in the corner of the store and sat down. I read, she listened to her ipod. A few hours later Craig,an RA from another complex at MSUM, walked in. Jen and I were both extremely pleased to see another friendly face!
He said he was parked outside with his girlfriend. They had their computers in the car, and seasons 4 through 6 of HOUSE. Craig bought a power strip converter to plug into his cigarette lighter. With a charged computer, we piled into his car to watch for the night. The walk from the door of the gas station to Craigs car was the worst walk I have ever taken. The wind blew at you so hard it caused you to lose your balance. The snow was flying around so much that from being outside for 6 seconds, I was drenched from head to toe. All of our clothes were white with snow as we opened the doors to the car. There was one point where the wind hit me so hard I could not breathe, I was literally panicking for air. We got into the car and everything was wet. The inside was wet just from opening the doors. Our clothes were soaked. We turned on the heat, and cuddled our blankets and watched House and How I Met Your Mother.
Craig went in to grab some munchies, and to use the restroom. He came back to the car, and said he saw Nick Mullin, who is another RA at MSUM! Nick and I are really good friends, and I could not believe that he was stuck at this same gas station too! I called him, and told him to come out to our car and watch movies with us. He ran out and told us his crazy story..
Nick was on his way from Moorhead to his home in Watertown. He was about 4 miles away from Summit when he pulled over because he could not see anything. There was a guy in front of him that was also driving a truck. They had pulled over a couple times to talk about what to do in this crazy storm, though they did not know each other. Nick sat on the side of the interstate in his pickup for about 4 hours before a squad car came to get him. The cops dropped him off at The Coffee Cup where he was to stay for the night. He was by himself, and Im sure was very grateful to know someone there!
There we sat, a big party of MSUM kids in a car, stranded in the middle of south dakota. We put smiles on and made the best of it...for a few hours. 1am rolled around, and we were all REALLY sick of sitting in a cramped car..sick of the weather..and just wanted to get where we were going. Nick and I went back into the store, thinking we would jut sit in there for a while to stretch out. When we walked in there were people EVERYWHERE. sitting on boxes, coolers, broken benches, shower stools...and many were laying on the floor. The whole place was littered with sleeping bodies! Nick and I grabbed a tiny spot on the floor and just chatted for a while. After about an hour, we decided to go to my car. We started it up, and hung out in there for the rest of the night. We would alternate turning the car on and off...listening to music and talking. We both wanted to sleep, but it was extremely difficult. At least we could kick back our seats and stretch out. I was so glad to be able to be with someone I knew, and someone I loved. Nick was truly a God send. It was no coincidence that we ended up there together. I loved being able to catch up and find out new things about him. When you are with someone in such a stressful situation, they really get to see your true colors, and it was fun to have those revealed.
As the night turned into morning, we kept our ears on the radio, hoping for some news about the roads opening up. First they thought 3am, then they thought 5 am. We then got news that the roads wouldnt be opened until the wind died down, which wouldnt be until around noon. Around 7am we started to get pretty restless. I would toss and turn. Cry...out of frustration and disappointment. After sitting in the car for that many hours, and hearing about the terrible road conditions...I realized that I was not about to make it Sioux Falls. After the stress of all this, I did not want to travel 2 more hours in poor weather and poor driving conditions. I made the disappointing phone call to Leah telling her I was calling off my road trip. I was in tears. Lack of sleep, and high emotions made for a very sad and tear filled Sara.
I had fallen asleep around 9:30 and Nick had snuck out around 10am to pick up his car from the side of the road. He got out there, and his truck wouldnt start, so he had it towed back to the store. The news came around 12:30 that the roads were open! The store emptied very quickly, and many vehicles were out of there as soon as they could. We tried to start Nicks car, but it would not go. Our other friends from MSUM got on the road, but I stayed behind to help nick figure out what was going on. We bought some Heet to pour into his gas tank to unthaw the gas line, but that didnt work either. We jumped it, but it just would not go. By this time I had a huge break down...I was so frustrated, and I was so disappointed that I would not be able to go to Sioux Falls.
Nick called his dad, who sent out a family friend to figure out the truck situation. He could not figure it out either. We came to an understanding that it was simply too frozen to start. They hooked Nicks truck up, and towed it back to Watertown. I called my friend Beth back, and asked if I could come stay with her. I had driven all this way, I did not want to turn around and drive back to Moorhead for the rest of the weekend. Her family was so welcoming and wonderful. They said yes!
I arrived to a huge hug from beth, and her mother. As I pulled into their driveway, I burst out in tears happy to be out of my car, and in a house! Warm food in my belly was greatly appreciated after having 4 meals at the gas station. A comfy couch, a big screen TV, movies, and a warm bed...this terribly, horrible stranded experience turned into a wonderful weekend at the Hill farm.
As much as I wish I could be with Leah in Sioux Falls, I have come to an understanding that things dont work out exactly how we want them too. You never know where life is going to take you, or where you could end up! This misadventure being stranded at a gas station turned into a blessed relaxed weekend at the farm.
I told Beth that I was so blessed to be warm, and not in a ditch. I proceeded to tell her "God's got my back" he replied, "he's got your back, and your front, and your sides." Thank you, Beth Hill, another comment for the Journal. (On this note, maybe I should start another blog, and fill it with all the funny comments from the mouth of Bill....keep your eye out for a possible new link!)
All in all, I have learned a lot in the last few days. And have grown in deep appreciation for the wonderful people I have in my life. It is amazing how much people surprise you. Being stranded in that gas station, everyone there became a family. We shared our cell phones, our blankets..people paid for other people's food so they could eat. The tow trucks gave free tows to everyone on the interstate. People shared their jumper cables and their plug ins. It was wonderful to see the giving of people. Its interesting..but sometimes tragedy brings out the best in people.
I said earlier that being with someone that long brings out their true colors. I just said that tragedy brings out the best in people. Over the last couple days, I have truly seen the beauty of peoples hearts. Full of community, hospitality, giving, and gratitude.
I appreciate you all so much, and hope your spring break is off to a wonderful start. If its not, please remember that its all about how you choose to make it.
I choose to have an adventure filled spring break, and no doubts, it is off to a good start.
Monday, March 7, 2011
Questioning.
I am the person that loves to be busy. I thrive on being with other people and to be running around. Thats what makes my clock tick. Thats what makes me work. But for some reason, the last couple weeks..I have been so busy that sometimes I feel like my world is spinning.
Some people take offense to the N word, some people take offense to the R word...but lately I have been getting very defensive when people use the B word. No not the female dog..the B word I am referring to does not exist in my dictionary. I can honestly say I have no idea what this feeling is any longer. BOREDOM. I can honestly say I dont remember what it feels like to be bored. And I get really frustrated with people who complain about being bored. There is so much to do in this world...so much to do in this town...so much to do on this campus..that I seriously cannot even fathom what it would be feel like to be bored. Maybe this is because I have ZERO down time and enjoy every last second of "free time" that I get, I dont know.
Maybe by now you're thinking stop complaining Sara, this is your life you chose to be busy so suck it up. You know what, maybe youre right. But right now, I need to write what is on my heart and thats what Im doing. So- if you dont want to hear it, stop reading. Tough love.
Sometimes I get frustrated when people say that RAs don't do anything. (There is where the venting gets tricky, because I am going to strive to maintain professionalism here without breaching anything) Let me tell you the truth behind it. As an RA, I must work a minimum of 4 hours at the front desk per week. I have to attend a weekly staff meeting that lasts about an hour. I meet with one of my bosses every week anywhere from 30 to 60 minutes. That right there consumes 6 more hours of my week than a typical student. But my position is not about the meetings I attend, or the time I put in manning the computer and answering questions. The real truth about my job is that my RA position...my focus is on relational ministry. About building relationships with the women to live on my floor. Every day when I leave, when I come home, when I move about the building..I have to stop and say hi to my girls. Can you imagine walking past your RA and not saying hello? No...because that should not happen. Now, I am telling you...this relational part of my job IS MY FAVORITE. I absolutely positively adore it. It is what keeps me going. I love my residents and I love the women who live in my building. But building and maintaining relationships takes time..So yes, every single week my job takes up A LARGE chunk of my time.
Not to mention that I am a Dragon Ambassador...now that job takes an extra 2 hours every week. Plus I coach skating...which takes another 6 (or so) hours every week. On top of being a student. And having somewhat of a social life (or trying to). Add time dedicated to devoting my life to the Lord, plus working out and staying healthy PLUS going to class...This balance thing....is killing me. So please, don't try and pretend that youre busier than I am. Or that you have more things going on than I do. Or what you do is more important than what I do. Because, that might be true. But I definitely dont think I am busier than you, or have a more stressful situation than you. Because we all handle things differently..and what may be busy to one person, may not be to another. It just really gets me fired up when people think their battle is a harder one to fight than other peoples...when really, you have no idea. I have no idea. We need to be humble and understand that.
Its the hardest thing to figure out..how much time to spend where. Truth is, in high school, grades were the number one most important thing for me. I graduated valedictorian, 4.0. All that got me was a scholarship. What I have come to realize and understand that college is much less about my grades, and more about my experiences while I am here. So though your suggestion may be drop something to eliminate stress, truth is that all the outside things I am doing are (almost) more important than my school work. Thats where the saying comes in that D's get degrees. (Please let it be known that school is still very important to me, and I do care. Its just a different perspective that I have gained.)
Am I crazy? Yes. Is this blog post just a really long rant about my life because I am extremely crabby today and my emotions are running on high? Yes. But part of blogging is being able to look back and reread what you have written to see the growth that has been made. I look forward to the day when I can look back on this post and say, I made it through those times and they made me a better person.
Better days...they are to come...right?
Some people take offense to the N word, some people take offense to the R word...but lately I have been getting very defensive when people use the B word. No not the female dog..the B word I am referring to does not exist in my dictionary. I can honestly say I have no idea what this feeling is any longer. BOREDOM. I can honestly say I dont remember what it feels like to be bored. And I get really frustrated with people who complain about being bored. There is so much to do in this world...so much to do in this town...so much to do on this campus..that I seriously cannot even fathom what it would be feel like to be bored. Maybe this is because I have ZERO down time and enjoy every last second of "free time" that I get, I dont know.
Maybe by now you're thinking stop complaining Sara, this is your life you chose to be busy so suck it up. You know what, maybe youre right. But right now, I need to write what is on my heart and thats what Im doing. So- if you dont want to hear it, stop reading. Tough love.
Sometimes I get frustrated when people say that RAs don't do anything. (There is where the venting gets tricky, because I am going to strive to maintain professionalism here without breaching anything) Let me tell you the truth behind it. As an RA, I must work a minimum of 4 hours at the front desk per week. I have to attend a weekly staff meeting that lasts about an hour. I meet with one of my bosses every week anywhere from 30 to 60 minutes. That right there consumes 6 more hours of my week than a typical student. But my position is not about the meetings I attend, or the time I put in manning the computer and answering questions. The real truth about my job is that my RA position...my focus is on relational ministry. About building relationships with the women to live on my floor. Every day when I leave, when I come home, when I move about the building..I have to stop and say hi to my girls. Can you imagine walking past your RA and not saying hello? No...because that should not happen. Now, I am telling you...this relational part of my job IS MY FAVORITE. I absolutely positively adore it. It is what keeps me going. I love my residents and I love the women who live in my building. But building and maintaining relationships takes time..So yes, every single week my job takes up A LARGE chunk of my time.
Not to mention that I am a Dragon Ambassador...now that job takes an extra 2 hours every week. Plus I coach skating...which takes another 6 (or so) hours every week. On top of being a student. And having somewhat of a social life (or trying to). Add time dedicated to devoting my life to the Lord, plus working out and staying healthy PLUS going to class...This balance thing....is killing me. So please, don't try and pretend that youre busier than I am. Or that you have more things going on than I do. Or what you do is more important than what I do. Because, that might be true. But I definitely dont think I am busier than you, or have a more stressful situation than you. Because we all handle things differently..and what may be busy to one person, may not be to another. It just really gets me fired up when people think their battle is a harder one to fight than other peoples...when really, you have no idea. I have no idea. We need to be humble and understand that.
Its the hardest thing to figure out..how much time to spend where. Truth is, in high school, grades were the number one most important thing for me. I graduated valedictorian, 4.0. All that got me was a scholarship. What I have come to realize and understand that college is much less about my grades, and more about my experiences while I am here. So though your suggestion may be drop something to eliminate stress, truth is that all the outside things I am doing are (almost) more important than my school work. Thats where the saying comes in that D's get degrees. (Please let it be known that school is still very important to me, and I do care. Its just a different perspective that I have gained.)
Am I crazy? Yes. Is this blog post just a really long rant about my life because I am extremely crabby today and my emotions are running on high? Yes. But part of blogging is being able to look back and reread what you have written to see the growth that has been made. I look forward to the day when I can look back on this post and say, I made it through those times and they made me a better person.
Better days...they are to come...right?
Saturday, March 5, 2011
You know..sometimes I watch these Hollywood movies and think to myself..is life always a happy ending?
The things that we want dont always happen....
Our biggest dreams don't always come true.
Maybe thats why the industry makes so much money...people like to watch things that make them happy, then become fascinated with the idea that their life will be a happy ending. Just like in the movies.
Noah and Ally end up together...John and Savannah end up together...the love story always works out.
Maybe because real love never gives up hope.
So.. here's to you. To my real love. This night my heart is a mess and I look at the stars praying that God created you for me, and that when the time is right I will get to meet you. I pray that I have a happy ending. Whoever you are...my love for you is real love, and I refuse to give up hope on you. But let me tell you, these last few weeks have been hard. And Hollywood makes me wish time would go by faster so that one day they could make a story about our lives. I'm trusting in a plan...and praying that you are too, so one day, when the time is right, our lives will meet and we can write the ending of a happy story together.
Dear whoever you are....see you soon then?
Love Always,
Sara Lynn.
The things that we want dont always happen....
Our biggest dreams don't always come true.
Maybe thats why the industry makes so much money...people like to watch things that make them happy, then become fascinated with the idea that their life will be a happy ending. Just like in the movies.
Noah and Ally end up together...John and Savannah end up together...the love story always works out.
Maybe because real love never gives up hope.
So.. here's to you. To my real love. This night my heart is a mess and I look at the stars praying that God created you for me, and that when the time is right I will get to meet you. I pray that I have a happy ending. Whoever you are...my love for you is real love, and I refuse to give up hope on you. But let me tell you, these last few weeks have been hard. And Hollywood makes me wish time would go by faster so that one day they could make a story about our lives. I'm trusting in a plan...and praying that you are too, so one day, when the time is right, our lives will meet and we can write the ending of a happy story together.
Dear whoever you are....see you soon then?
Love Always,
Sara Lynn.
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